WISH I THOUGHT OF THIS

www.youvebeenleftbehind.com

The premise: six days after The Rapture(TM), the website will send out emails to everyone on a subscriber's address list, informing them that they've been left behind.

"We have set up a system to send documents by the email, to the addresses you provide, 6 days after the "Rapture" of the Church. This occurs when 3 of our 5 team members scattered around the U.S fail to log in over a 3 day period. Another 3 days are given to fail safe any false triggering of the system."

Many questions come to mind.

How dense do they think we are that we won't notice that a significant number of people are gone for six days?
What would happen if two or less of the operators get raptured and keep logging in to keep the system going?
Could a bit of coordinated mischief cause a false positive? Malicious crackers and script kiddies could have a lot of fun here.
Why does it only let you inform 62 people at once? I guess fundies wouldn't want to associate with that many unsaved people. Even so, would you have to get a second account for more people?

But most importantly, why didn't I think of charging fundies $40/year for a glorified (no pun intended) FTP server/mass-mailer that will likely never be used? I bet the guy who thought this up could easily have charged $20/month and evangelicals would have dutifully paid.

So here's my proposition for a similar premise: Customers can pay $5 to add an email address to the list. And the mailer sends out this:

Dear Friend,

If you're reading this email, then the Rapture hasn't happened yet. But a concerned Christian, (insert the name of whoever signed this email up), wants you to know that there's still time.

(and here we have some stock give-your-life-to-Jesus boilerplate)

from your friends at RaptureMail

Daily. Or better, for a higher price, you can pay to send the email every 6 hours. But the real beauty is that the spammed knows who's ultimately responsible and can "thank" them accordingly.